1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,040
Good afternoon, madam.
Yeah, stay street smart.

2
00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:06,360
I need two officers to infiltrate
a gang dealing drugs

3
00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:07,440
on Brightmarsh Estate.

4
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,120
We're just doing a spot
of drug dealing.

5
00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:11,120
This mission, it doesn't exist.

6
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:15,280
I need you to bury this body.
THEY SCREAM

7
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,320
We need to find out
who Clinton was talking to.

8
00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:20,760
That person can get us
out of this mess. Oh, crap.

9
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,080
What?  Needs his finger
for everything.

10
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,480
THEY GRUNT AND SCREAM

11
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:27,160
I mean, there is enough info here
to put the lot of them away.

12
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,200
DRILL WHIRS

13
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,360
I don't think he is investigating
the gang.

14
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,720
I think he's investigating the pigs.

15
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,320
La-ah-ah

16
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,800
Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah

17
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,240
La-ah, ah-ah-ah

18
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,920
La-ah, oh-oh

19
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:57,720
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 

20
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,080
There's nothing there.

21
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,960
I hacked off his finger for nothing.

22
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,640
KNOCK AT DOOR
Dom?  Don't come in!

23
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,800
I-I've got my arse out.  Oh.

24
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,120
Have you seen the pickle jar?

25
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,080
CAR ALARM BLARES

26
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,960
CAR HORN BEEPS

27
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,000
Kay, Kay! What...?

28
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,600
What's happening?

29
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:32,760
I'm sorry, Pastor Tomi.

30
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,800
Why are you waxing my car at 7am?

31
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,040
It's a service to God
to wax your car, Pastor Tomi.

32
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,120
I know, but why do you
have to do it at 7am?

33
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:44,360
I feel like I've been letting
my discipleship slide lately,

34
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,040
but spiritually,
I've been in a malaise.

35
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,200
I don't know what...
Kay, Kay, Kay, Kay, Kay.  What?

36
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,240
It's streaking.  Oh, sorry.

37
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,480
Not... not to get all Nebuchadnezzar
on your ass,

38
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,360
but the kids notice streaks, huh?

39
00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,640
And where there are streaks,
their ears are blocked

40
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,320
to the message of God.

41
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,960
I'm on it, Pastor T.  Oh, and, Kay?

42
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:02,720
You are loved.

43
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,000
Hallelujah.

44
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,880
Hallelujah... 

45
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,200
DOOR SHUTS LOUDLY
Good night... morning. I...

46
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,560
7am.

47
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,040
Pastor T says I'm loved

48
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,080
Pastor T says she love me, so...

49
00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:23,080
PHONE VIBRATES

50
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,640
Hello.  Where are you?

51
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,680
I'm looking at an empty corner.

52
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,200
Yeah. No. Er, yeah.
We're going to be there later.

53
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,160
It's just, er... you know,
strategic.

54
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,960
We're creating scarcity.
It drives prices up.

55
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,560
Yeah, well, you'd better have
my money by tomorrow night,

56
00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,440
or I'm going to fuck you lot up,
yeah?

57
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,800
Fuck us up, like not consider us
for promotion?

58
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,040
Hello?

59
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,040
RINGTONE:  The Lord is good... 

60
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:55,640
Hi, Dom. Thanks for calling me.

61
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:58,080
You don't need to say that
every time I ring you.

62
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,840
Listen, we need to get out there
and sell our package.

63
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,520
I can't right now.

64
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:04,760
I'm waxing Youth Pastor Tomi's
Audi.

65
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:09,000
What? We have a package to shift,
for real this time.

66
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,840
There's no Clinton
to give us the money.

67
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,360
I'm well aware there's no Clinton,

68
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,840
having spent an entire night
BURYING him.

69
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:18,000
And that's exactly why I'm now
immersed in spiritual duty.

70
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,560
How is it spiritual duty
to wax some dude's Audi?

71
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,400
Because that dude is
Youth Pastor Tomi.

72
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,400
Kay, you know what happens

73
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:29,200
when you don't
hand over your money on payday?

74
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,800
OK, boys, I'll be honest.

75
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,840
It's going to be a little... short.

76
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,680
Put your hand out.  Come on, boys.
Man...

77
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,720
Hey, put your hand out, man.

78
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:43,000
HE SCREAMS

79
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,640
Give me half an hour to finish up.

80
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,760
SIREN BLARES
Right, I need a description, please.

81
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,520
Yeah. Two of them, a guy and a girl.

82
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:03,240
Late twenties.  Mm-hm.

83
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,720
Is it racist to say they were black?

84
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,120
Not if they were black.

85
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,320
Well, yeah, they were black.

86
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,440
And she kind of looked like, er...

87
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,040
Is it racist to say she looked
like Missy Elliott?

88
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,120
Well, not if she looked like
Missy Elliott.

89
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,720
Well, yeah, she did. Um...

90
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,720
He was wearing a onesie
with... with spaceships on it.

91
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:25,600
Is it racist to say
he looked like, erm...

92
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,080
..Tupac Shakur?

93
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,840
Point is, they were street guys.

94
00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:34,040
You know, urban.

95
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:36,880
Want a bite of my eclair?

96
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,080
No. Are you hearing what I'm saying?

97
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,400
Yes. Yes. You went through
his texts.  Through his texts,

98
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:42,720
his WhatsApp, his email -

99
00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:44,800
there is absolutely nothing
on his phone.

100
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:48,560
Well, have you tried searching
Brightmarsh on his emails?

101
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,600
Oh, my gosh, Kay,
another genius idea!  OK.

102
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,880
I mean, I was sitting there
thinking, "How do we get back

103
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,080
"our lives from the brink of death?"

104
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,160
And it never occurred to me
to do this...

105
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:02,000
What was it? Searching his emails
thing you speak of.  OK, fine.

106
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,840
And how am I spelling Brightmarsh?

107
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,000
Officer Ogundare.

108
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,920
Ah, Aunty.  Oh, I'm so happy
to see you.

109
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,640
Someone has to do something.

110
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,200
This estate used to be so nice.

111
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,920
But now, I'm so frightened
to go to the shop.  Mm.

112
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,280
There are needles in the grass
where the children play.

113
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:19,720
I'm so sorry. That's really bad.

114
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,200
And when I call the police,
they just do nothing.

115
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:23,960
Yeah. OK, so... so... so the thing
is,

116
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,520
I'm not actually a PCSO any more.

117
00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,760
Oh. But you were so good.

118
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,800
Thank you. No, I do miss it.

119
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,160
So, what are you doing now?  Hey!

120
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:34,800
Oh, sorry, I don't have any change.

121
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,080
Oh, no, don't mess about, boss.
I need my hit.

122
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,720
Aunty, I don't know this man.

123
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,680
Kay?  Yeah, I got you.

124
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,240
There you go. Bye, Aunty.

125
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,080
She has got a point, though.

126
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:53,800
I think the cops are allowing drugs
to be dealt on Brightmarsh.

127
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,840
What do you think, Shakes?

128
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,040
Speaking truth.

129
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,480
DI Blair.

130
00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:02,560
Hmm.

131
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,240
DI Blair.

132
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:05,760
DI...
KNOCK AT DOOR

133
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,000
Sorry, ma'am. Last week's overtime
just needs your signature.  Right.

134
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,480
Yes.  Oh, DI Blair didn't report
for his shift today.

135
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,280
DI Blair?  Yeah, I presume
he's unwell,

136
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,080
but no-one's heard from him.

137
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,040
Right. OK, right. Well, yes.

138
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,720
Thank you.  Oh.

139
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,920
INDISTINCT CHATTER

140
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,520
Oh, thank you.

141
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,400
Jesus loves you anyway.

142
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,920
What are you doing?  What?

143
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,920
You just showed that guy something.
Oh, yeah.

144
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,440
It was these copies
of Youth Pastor Tomi's EP.

145
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,760
Trying to raise money
for a full-length album.

146
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,480
Well, can you not? It's weird.

147
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:47,920
It might scare customers off.

148
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,920
I don't think you could
put these customers off.

149
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,480
Just trying to get the shakes
to stop.

150
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:52,960
Well, who buys CDs now anyway?

151
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,760
Youth pastor?
This dude looks 50 years old.

152
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,360
No, no, no, he gets through
to the kids

153
00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:58,920
through his lyrical stylings, OK?

154
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,880
He's the first man to put the Gospel
to drill,

155
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,000
and he's doubled
our 15-to-35s in a year.

156
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,600
Look, this is the one way
I can mitigate how bad I feel

157
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:07,840
about what we're doing here.

158
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:10,760
Right, customer. Put that shit away.
Don't make people uncomfortable.

159
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,280
Look at that. Talk about transport.

160
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,960
Punters travelling
from far and wide.

161
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:17,120
Yeah, well, you know, we're good
at our jobs. What can I say?

162
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,560
It's all about good
customer service, keep telling you.

163
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,440
All right?

164
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,560
You got shit, yeah?

165
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,240
Yes, we have got shit.

166
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:27,480
Yes, we have S-H-I-T,
and we have gospel rap.

167
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,720
But focusing on the S-H-I-T,
how much do you want?

168
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,280
All right, sweet.
Well, how much you got, innit?

169
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,280
Oh, you're in luck,
cos we've got a lot.

170
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,040
Oh, yeah, well, how much is a lot,
though?

171
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,080
Well, I mean, there's this.
Hold that.

172
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:42,640
Oh, yeah, that's calm, that is.
And then there is this one, so...

173
00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:45,920
Yeah, yeah, well, I think
I'll take all of it.

174
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:47,880
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
OK, big spender.

175
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,520
So, wait, I'll calculate that.
That's going to cost about...

176
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,440
Let me get that money for you, yeah?
Gun. Gun.

177
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:54,880
Yes. I'm standing right next to you.
I see it.

178
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,680
Hey. OK, mate, you know what?
I like the look of you.

179
00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,920
10% off if you shake my hand
right now.

180
00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,480
Come on, 20% off, and....

181
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,720
..we'll throw in one of his CDs.

182
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:08,440
Nah, you, man, ain't cut out
for this game, innit?

183
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:11,640
OK, 30% and you can touch
my left boob.

184
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,160
It is the better one.

185
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:16,040
Argh!

186
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,520
OK. Fake gun.
Hope your mother's proud of you.

187
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,640
Please don't take our drugs!
SHE SOBS

188
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,160
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

189
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:28,720
Oh, fuck!

190
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,120
This is all your fault!
How was it my fault?

191
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,960
You distracted me with those CDs.

192
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,960
Well, you were the one
that were waving the drugs

193
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,240
right in front of him.
Well, you should have stopped me.

194
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,120
I mean, what's the point
in working in pairs

195
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,360
if one doesn't stop the other
from doing stupid shit?

196
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,880
I stopped you doing
your stupid shit.  Like what?

197
00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,480
Selling those CDs!  OK, look,
we need to think constructively.

198
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,400
We need to come up with a plan.
Agreed.

199
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,720
I mean, this sort of thing
must happen all the time.  Yeah.

200
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,880
Right.  The gang must have
a protocol in place.

201
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,840
I mean, let's not forget
we're in a gang, yeah?

202
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:56,440
All for one. One for all.

203
00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,160
OK, it's a criminal enterprise, Kay,

204
00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,000
it's not The Three Musketeers.

205
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,600
Yeah, but they must have insurance
against this type of thing.

206
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,480
Oh, what, like a Churchill
of the underworld?

207
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,400
Their insurance is, we don't
give them three grand tomorrow,

208
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,520
they break our legs.

209
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,040
So, what are we going to do?

210
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,320
SHE SIGHS

211
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,880
Well, I think I'm at least entitled
to know what it's for.

212
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,840
I mean, some people might say
you shouldn't have kids

213
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:25,200
if you're not prepared to, like,
shell out three K now and then

214
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,760
without giving them a grilling.

215
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:30,160
Dom, there's actually something
your father needs to tell you.

216
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,200
Oh, no, you're not pregnant,
are you?

217
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,200
I hear those geriatric births
are a bitch.

218
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,880
I've got to have surgery
on my heart.

219
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,720
Coronary artery bypass graft.

220
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,080
Yeah, it's a major operation.

221
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,400
Yes, I know. Thank you.
SHE TUTS

222
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,320
Sorry about her, Dad. Carry on.

223
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,840
He has to avoid all stress.

224
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,120
That's doctor's orders.

225
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:52,280
So, we all need to be extra kind
to your dad for now.

226
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,840
All right, feel free to hijack
my father's medical condition

227
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,960
to morally lord it over me, Julie.

228
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,200
Dom.

229
00:09:58,200 --> 00:09:59,680
So, what do you need the money for?

230
00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,480
I am starting a business.

231
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,000
What business?  It's called...

232
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,440
..Coffee Go. Yeah, it's an app.

233
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:13,480
It's, like, if you want a coffee,
but can't be arsed to get it,

234
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,800
we'll go and get it.

235
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:18,040
Oh, I'll have a mocha.

236
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,960
SHE COUGHS
Basic bitch.

237
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,280
And how much will that be?

238
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,880
Well, firstly, Julie, I don't get
the mochas, you know,

239
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,480
because I'm the CEO.  Right.

240
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,560
Don't humour her, Julie.
She's obviously lying.

241
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,840
What do you want the money for?

242
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:34,200
You want to go to Ayia Napa
with your mates in the summer.

243
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,240
Yeah.

244
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,960
Charmel's 30th.

245
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,320
I suggest you get a job
and start saving.

246
00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:44,080
Right, I've taken a load of shit
to the pawnbrokers,

247
00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:46,000
and that's everything I own
except my bed.

248
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,200
And Cash Converters don't take beds,
by the way.

249
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,200
And I'm just shy of 1,500.

250
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,960
Great.  Great. So, let's tally up
everything you own.

251
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,720
OK, well, the only thing
I have of monetary value

252
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,200
is this laptop, but I need it

253
00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,880
because I'm editing a music video

254
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,920
for Youth Pastor Tomi.
Youth Pastor Tomi.

255
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,200
Right.

256
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,400
MUSIC PLAYS OVER LAPTOP

257
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,880
Er, so...

258
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,160
..this album you guys
are raising money for -

259
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,000
how much have you got so far?

260
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,520
Nearly 4,000. Target's 20.

261
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:16,960
20 thou...? Kay, you can record
a song on a computer these days.

262
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:20,080
OK. It's got to sound professional
for its spiritual message to reach

263
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,960
the widest possible audience.

264
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,680
Ed Sheeran records at Abbey Road.

265
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,240
So, are you telling me

266
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,320
that Ed Sheeran deserves better
than God?

267
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,480
Think hard before you answer me,
Dom.

268
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,480
OK, where's this money, Kay?

269
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,280
Why?  Because we're going to
help ourselves to a loan from it.

270
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,000
HE CHUCKLES
No. Impossible.

271
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,320
Why? Where is it?

272
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:38,720
Because it's in the church hall

273
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,200
in the cupboard where we keep
the ping pong bats.

274
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,320
So why is it impossible?

275
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,640
It's Youth Pastor Tomi's
album fund!

276
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,920
Oh, Christ's sake.  Yep.
That's the name of the album.

277
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,800
We have until tonight
to deliver the money.

278
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,640
Sh!  We have less than half.
How are you so calm?

279
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:55,680
I have prayed, and I believe,
with all my heart,

280
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,120
that He will
deliver us a solution to this.

281
00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,480
We just have to have faith.

282
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,040
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to get ready

283
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,320
for Youth Ministry this evening.

284
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,000
Hello. Hello.

285
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,840
Help yourself to some
biscuits and crisps.

286
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:13,040
Oh, and don't forget
Jesus Is A Vibe, 17.99. 50% off.

287
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,560
It's really...  Are these free?
What are you doing here?

288
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,840
You've been trying to get me to come
to your church for years. Here I am.

289
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,240
No.  "No"?

290
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,440
Isn't there something in the Bible
about not turning people away?

291
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:26,040
You're thinking of the verse
right now, aren't you?

292
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:27,320
Ha!

293
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:32,040
These people are, like,
your community, right?

294
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,400
Your friends?

295
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,960
I'm sure if you told them
what you were going through

296
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:40,600
and, you know, what you've done,
they'll help, right?

297
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,760
Don't! Stop. That's not funny.

298
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,600
I'm not joking. You tell me where
the ping-pong cupboard is right now,

299
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,600
or I'll tell them what you do
after Bible study.

300
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,840
Right. That's it. Time to go.
Not going.

301
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,760
Don't...  Time to go, though.
I want to know where...  Time to go!

302
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:56,440
I want to go...  Hey!  Hey!  Hey!
Ha-ha!  Oh, you brought us a newbie.

303
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,840
Yeah, guilty!

304
00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,320
This is Pastor Tomi?

305
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,320
Yeah.  Pastor T?

306
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:06,080
Oh, my God. This guy is always
talking about you.

307
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,400
I'm such a fan.

308
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,760
Also, Jesus Is A Vibe
has not been off my Discman.

309
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,560
Tune.  Thank you.

310
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,160
Welcome.  Oh, thank you.

311
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,600
Welcome.

312
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,840
Kay, light massage. I'm on in five.

313
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:23,880
Yes.

314
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,360
Oh.

315
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,960
Oh.  Tell me! Tell me where it is!

316
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,080
Tell me!

317
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:35,760
GOSPEL MUSIC PLAYS

318
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,280
MUSIC STOPS

319
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:40,160
Say hallelujah!
CONGREGATION:  Hallelujah!

320
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,640
Saints.

321
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,400
Why are we so afraid
of God's blessings?

322
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:49,880
God gave us the wisdom
to build the computer.

323
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:51,400
Mm-hm.  MAN: Preach!

324
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:52,960
God loves things.

325
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,040
God loves products.

326
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,800
Mmm? The Bible is a...

327
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,280
Product.

328
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:01,600
The Bible is a...

329
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,760
Product!  These patent leather shoes
are a...

330
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,120
Product!

331
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,440
Pastor Tomi's 12 Weeks To Prosperity
programme is a...

332
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:08,680
Product!

333
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,960
The Audi Cabriolet is a vehicle

334
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:14,440
for vanquishing the villainy
of Satan.

335
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,680
Say hallelujah!  Hallelujah!

336
00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:18,600
Especially when I'm
in the driving seat.

337
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,680
And that is why we are looking
to raise at least £20,000

338
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:25,200
for me to record an album to sing
of His glory here on Earth

339
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,880
and top the charts in heaven.

340
00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,120
Say hallelujah.  Hallelujah!

341
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:33,040
Now, let's take a moment to honour
a very special young man,

342
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,560
Brother Kayode.

343
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:38,000
He's one of our most prolific
fundraisers.

344
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:42,760
And tonight, he is being made
a senior vice president.

345
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,120
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

346
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:50,880
All in recognition of his exemplary
fundraising efforts,

347
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:54,040
not to mention the considerable
donations he has made

348
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,480
from his own pockets. Say Kayode!
Kayode!

349
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:57,720
Let us bow our heads and pray.

350
00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:02,320
Dear Lord, we ask that you bless
the street teamers this week

351
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:05,680
in their fundraising efforts
that will help augment

352
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,640
the Pastor Tomi
Recording Contract Fund.

353
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:10,440
Pastor, Pastor?  Mm?

354
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:12,960
And also, please make sure

355
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:16,160
that Jason's mother survives her
lung transplant. Hallelujah. Amen.

356
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,440
Amen.

357
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:18,600
Beloved ones,

358
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,680
is there anyone who has anything
to share in fellowship,

359
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,600
freely, of their own accord?
Please, speak.

360
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,040
Yes.

361
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:28,480
Hi, Pastor.

362
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,320
I'm Dom. Long-time sinner.
First-time worshipper.

363
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:32,720
Welcome, Dom.

364
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,000
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

365
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,120
I have a situation I'd like to bring
to the group.

366
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:46,560
I have a friend, you know, good guy,
Christian guy, and, well,

367
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:51,480
for reasons beyond his control,
he has accrued a drug debt.

368
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,600
The ping-pong cupboard's over there!

369
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,240
Kayode.  Hmm?  Dom, is still talking.

370
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,160
Sorry, Pastor Tomi.
I'm sorry, everybody.

371
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,760
I just... I just realised
that she...

372
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,120
Because she's a first-time person
here at the church,

373
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,400
that she hasn't received
her orientation.

374
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:08,280
So...  I haven't.
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

375
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:11,880
So, the toilets are back there,
and teas and coffees

376
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,040
are through there.

377
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:16,720
And give me a shout if you need
some help around the urn.

378
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,000
Please, continue.

379
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,040
Oh, God, it's gone.

380
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,520
Your friend who is a Christian
has accrued a what?

381
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:24,840
A drug debt.

382
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,040
Drug debt.  That's it. Thank you.

383
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:32,520
So, my friend, he might have
sorted it out now, I think.

384
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,560
I'm thinking, in this moment,
yeah... I think we're good.

385
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,720
And that is because
you've been purified.

386
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,280
Everyone say hallelujah.
Hallelujah.  Hallelujah.

387
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,880
Praise and Worship team
are ready to take us out again.

388
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,960
MUSIC STARTS
Yeah.  Oh, yeah.

389
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,960
Lower
Lower, lower

390
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,160
Lower
Lower, lower, lower

391
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,840
Lower
Lower, lower

392
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,680
Lower, yeah!
Lower, lower

393
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,600
Lower
Lower, lower... 

394
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,520
See you next Sunday. All right?

395
00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,160
Get home safe, OK?

396
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,200
Shall we?

397
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,440
It's locked,
and it's staying that way.

398
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,080
Yeah, but...

399
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,000
..you probably have the key on you,
don't you?

400
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,240
And lying's a sin, Kay.

401
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,040
SHE SIGHS
OK.

402
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,600
You raised half of that money.

403
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,720
Some of it is your money.

404
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,160
And it's for a nonsense cause.

405
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:20,800
I mean, come on.
SHE CHUCKLES

406
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,160
The guy is clearly a sham.

407
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,560
Where in the Bible does it say
God loves products?

408
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,080
As Pastor Tomi said,
Jesus didn't live in a time

409
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,120
where people were blessed
with products.

410
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,520
OK.  Wait. What are you doing?
Where's the key, Kay?

411
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,200
Are you frisking me?  Yeah.
Where is it?

412
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:36,040
No, don't frisk me. You can't just
frisk without probable cause, Dom.

413
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:38,760
Yes, I can do it with permission.
No! Don't!  That's legal.

414
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,120
THEY GRUNT

415
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:43,600
Argh! Ow!

416
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,160
You bit me.

417
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:47,880
Kay, we have no choice.

418
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,560
There's always a choice.

419
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,040
What? What do we do instead, then?

420
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,720
I told you. Have faith.

421
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,200
God will come through for us.

422
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,120
Are you...? OK, I am done with this.

423
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:57,360
I've raised my half.

424
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,800
I'm going to take that to Breeze
and tell him to come after you

425
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:01,120
for your half.  Fine.

426
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:02,280
Not fine, Kay!

427
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,600
They will beat the living shit
out of you.

428
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,480
I have faith.  Oh, my God.

429
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,040
You're delusional.

430
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,760
OK.

431
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,040
Wait up.

432
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,320
I'm coming.

433
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,160
Stop.

434
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,080
Look.  What?

435
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,120
There's a pound coin on the floor.

436
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:27,600
Huh?

437
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,800
And it was outside a newsagent's.

438
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:33,640
Newsagents tend to trade
in pound sterling, Kay.

439
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:36,320
What's your point?  No, no, no.
Don't you see?

440
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:38,200
This? This is the miracle.

441
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,760
Er...  Yes!

442
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,280
£1.

443
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,320
What?
SHE SIGHS

444
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,400
STAFF:  Have a good luck.

445
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,600
What is that?  Scratch card.

446
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,160
Do you have anything sharp or...

447
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,200
Ooh! Your nail.
Can I have your nail, please?

448
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,760
OK. Yeah, that's nice.

449
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:08,360
Prepare to witness
the power of faith.

450
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,080
Yeah.

451
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,600
Well, we've still got 40 minutes,
so...

452
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,200
Yeah. See you, Kay.

453
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,520
No... Dom.

454
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,440
Dom.

455
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,480
Look, He will come through for me.

456
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,120
I'm telling you.

457
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:46,800
SHE GRUNTS

458
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,640
OK. OK.

459
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:55,920
Dom?  Oh, my God!

460
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,160
Do not do that again.

461
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:00,120
What are you doing here?

462
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:01,800
I came to get the money, OK?

463
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,280
Because I don't want to see you
get your hands broken,

464
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:05,720
even though you deserve it.

465
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,840
And I'm sorry,
but, also, I'm not sorry.

466
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,200
So...

467
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,840
Wait, what are you doing here?

468
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,520
I came to get the money.

469
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,640
Let's get this over with.

470
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,960
You know, God forgives those
who trespass

471
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:33,680
and walk through the valley
of the shadows of stuff.

472
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,240
The Bible's very clear about that.

473
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,760
PCSOs Dom and Kayode.

474
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,520
Tev was just about to put you
on his naughty list.

475
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,320
It's a Google doc.

476
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,200
Yeah, it's all there.

477
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:03,840
Nice. Nice.

478
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,360
I knew you wouldn't let us down,
fam.

479
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,680
Keep it.

480
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,360
Thanks.  We're upping your pack.

481
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,200
What? No!

482
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,120
Excuse me?  I just mean we...

483
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:19,600
..we can't sell all that.

484
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:20,840
This is too much.

485
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:26,560
And... and, you know, I mean,
what's a bit more money, right?

486
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,400
I mean, is it going to make
any of us happier?  Shut up.

487
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,120
I'll see you in a week.  Mm-hm.

488
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:33,040
Don't be late.

489
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,440
Don't be short.

490
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,880
We are not cut out for this shit.

491
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,280
Can't wait to get the hell
out of this mess.

492
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,320
"I intend to repay the money,

493
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:57,880
"but nonetheless, I have fallen
far short in my discipleship.

494
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:01,120
"I must return to you my medal
and the cherished office

495
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:02,960
"of Senior Vice President."

496
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,600
How the hell did we get here, Hooty?
SHE CRIES

497
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,200
How the hell did we get here?

498
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,160
PHONE CHIMES

499
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:14,400
Oh.

500
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,440
Have some self-respect,
Thirsty Kirsty!

501
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,440
DANCE MUSIC THROBS INSIDE HOUSE

502
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:37,760
Hello.

503
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,160
Hi.

504
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:48,960
You Dave's Net with the ketamine?

505
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,800
Please say yes.

506
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,360
Sorry. I'm just... I'm just looking
for Youth Pastor Tomi.

507
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:54,960
Have you... have you seen him?

508
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,720
Have you seen Youth Pastor Tomi?
Youth Pastor... Youth Pastor...

509
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,000
No?

510
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,960
HE SNIFFS
Youth Pastor Tomi!  Oh!

511
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:31,320
Kay.

512
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:35,280
Welcome to the youth outreach
programme.

513
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,400
HE YELLS

514
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,920
There was... there was drugs.

515
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,000
There was... there was nudity.

516
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,360
Nobody was using a coaster.
SHE SCOFFS

517
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,920
And he was using the church money
to fund all of this!

518
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,160
He's a complete fraud!
Oh, my gosh.

519
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,440
Who could have guessed it?
I know.

520
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:59,800
Pastor Tomi, the man who lifted me
out of a gambling addiction.

521
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:03,520
Wait, what?  Anyway, the church
council now know everything.

522
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,560
He's... he's been suspended.

523
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,040
Oh.

524
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:10,920
Kay,

525
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,800
if we hadn't taken the money,

526
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:14,880
you wouldn't have written
the letter.

527
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,520
You would never have gone
to Pastor Tomi's flat.

528
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,160
And you would never have discovered
the party with the drugs

529
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,120
and - your words - nudey ladies.

530
00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:26,240
And he would just still be out here
taking money from the congregation

531
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,200
to fund his sinful lifestyle.

532
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,960
So...

533
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:31,000
Huh.

534
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,960
God works in mysterious ways!

535
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:36,520
HE LAUGHS

536
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,880
OK, glad you got your mojo back.

537
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:42,120
Glory, glory, hallelu-uuu... 
Too much, too much, Kay!

538
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:43,920
Sorry.  You always have to go
too far.

539
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:45,800
PHONE CHIMES

540
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,560
Oh, that's Clinton's phone.

541
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,120
Well, it could be a clue.
It's not a clue.

542
00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:53,200
It's some cam with an anxious
attachment style.

543
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,320
I only ever date black women.

544
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:58,720
Give me that.

545
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:05,080
Clinton told me he only
ever dated black women.

546
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,320
Right?  Well...

547
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:11,680
..that is a white lady.

548
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,600
Yes, definitely a white lady.

549
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:15,720
But then again, I thought
Meghan Markle...  Kay,

550
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:16,960
it's a white lady.

551
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:18,560
And, and look at this.

552
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:19,960
Look at all these messages.

553
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:24,440
But... but no flirting, no banter,
not even an aubergine emoji.

554
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:28,360
I think this is the person
that Clinton was working with.

555
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:30,640
I think this is the person
that we've been looking for.

556
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,920
This is the person who's going
to get us out of this shit!

557
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:34,360
Kay, you are a genius.

558
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:37,720
Well, that's what happens
when you're filled with the spirit.

559
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:38,920
So, what do we do?

560
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,480
We're going to text Thirsty Kirsty.

561
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:42,840
OK.

562
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:45,640
What shall we send?

563
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,680
"Hey."  "Hey, baby-licious."

564
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,920
"Hey," send.

565
00:25:50,970 --> 00:25:55,520
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